Taco Bell

9 Jul

Next to Subway, Taco Bell has to be my favorite fast food chain. I enjoy eating there so much whenever I do.

There has to be one thing that everyone who eats at Taco Bell should accept, or you’re just deluding yourself, and that’s that all of their food items look like poop.

They just do. The ground beef and ESPECIALLY refried beans look like runny poop.  You could eat a Taco Bell burrito, squat over a tortilla, shit, then roll up the tortilla, and it would look like what you just ate.

We understand this, but we still want it. Feed me the poop. It’s tasty, tasty poop.  It’s dookylicious, and I have no compunction about eating the fast food equivalent of SWAP.avi (look it up if you have a strong constitution).

Before I went to college, my favorite thing to get from Taco Bell was two nacho cheese chalupas with nothing but cheese and meat, no vegetables (I could justify eating that when I was on the wrestling team), and then I would spread mild sauce on the insides.  The cheese served as some kind of lubricant, because any time I took a bite, the filling would SHOOT out the back, and my hands would be burnt by this molten meat-poop-lava. I’d get done and my hands would be covered in brown and red.

I looked like I had murdered somebody by shoving my hand up their ass and then pulling out their internal organs one by one until they died.

And honestly, if that’s all I had to do to get a free nacho cheese chalupa, I’d do it.

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