Advice for beginning open mike-ers

5 May

Short post, because I’m angry, but not “long post” angry.

Here’s a big tip if you’re a comedian who’s just starting out going to open mikes, hell, you can use this if you’re just a normal civilian who finds yourself in a situation where you’re interacting with comics: if you’re not on stage, don’t try to tell jokes.

If you’re someone who manages to be naturally funny in conversation, and you just say witty things, that’s fine. But if you’re trying to tell JOKE jokes in conversation, you will immediately brand yourself as someone who’s inexperienced and probably nervous, because you’re acting like you have to convince everyone around you that you are not just a funny comedian, but you are funny all the time, that everything about you is funny.

There’s the problem though, is that most comedians (or at least the comedians I know) DO turn it off once in a while. When you have a conversation with us, it doesn’t sound like we’re doing our stage schtick.

I’m bringing this up because at an open mike today a guy did this very thing. As soon as he showed up, he started trying to crack jokes at other comedians, and it immediately made me hate him. I don’t even remember what he said because my ears were too full of anger to really let the vibrations of his words hit my eardrums.

The same guy then proceeded to get drunk during the mike on Tecate (because it’s Cinco De Mayo) talk during other people’s sets, and then do his own set which involved throwing stuff on the stage around and saying no fully-formed jokes, making a total ass of himself. He’s going to have to work SERIOUSLY hard before any comedian takes him seriously. Mostly because of him sucking on stage and heckling, but to me it started all the way from how he was talking. It’s just a basic rule of everything: act like you’ve been there before. Don’t try so damn hard where it doesn’t count, which is off-stage.

If you want to interact with me at a show, just talk to me. I can like you as a person even if I don’t think you’re funny. Actually… Fuck that, I kind of judge you negatively if you’re not funny. Sorry.


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